Your almost daily source for moral understanding. Helping you understand the pains-taking thought process inside liberal shortcomings. Feel free to leave your comments, but we can't promise to give a shit about them.IF YOUR PARENTS ARE DIVORCED CHANCES ARE YOU ARE A EMOTIONALLY WHACKED, BUT IF YOUR PARENTS ARE THE SAME SEX YOU'RE PROBABLY MENTALLY DISABLED
It's been a while since I've been down in my basement working in the Analogy Lab, so I thought I'd tinker around with the beakers and test tubes last night. I started out looking for an analogical cure for cancer, but I got sidetracked and found out some strange links to x-ray vision instead. Here are some of my findings:
When you are the 'child' of a gay household, you end up being some sort of a retard with super powers. (I know being a legitimate offspring of gay parents is impossible, but humor me here).
The reason traditional marriage works well is that it is designed to give children a balance of two approaches without a specific overpowering of either one. From the father, the child receives lessons and understanding on the science of logic. From the mother, the child receives lessons and understanding on the art of emotion. Neither aspect is intended to dominate, but instead instill a balanced approach to life with both tools equally at the disposal. Both logic and emotion have extremely vital roles and qualities, though with too much of one and not enough of the other, the risk of catastrophe increases greatly.
ANALOGY:
Let emotionalism = hearing
Let logicality = vision
Let's say subject A has two moms in the same household raising him. Subject A has little to no male-encouraged training in the 'home setting'. However, Subject A gets a double dose of the female perspective of life skills. Now substitute the variables. Subject A now has supersonic hearing, but is blind as a bat. Now put the subject in an out-of-the-home atmosphere: sure, he now can hear the conversations of people from several hundred miles away, but it doesn't do him much good since he walks into trees and walls all day.
Subject B has two dads (work with me here; I swear this exists). Subject B gets super-sharp attributes to incorporate logic in his/her decision making, but none of the heart or passion for life. Substitute variables. Subject B now ends up being able to see through walls and count the stitches on a fastball, but now can't hear a smoke detector or a bus bearing down on him as he crosses the road.
What gives? Why do parents who selfishly need to indulge their sexual appetites in the name of 'freedom' have to sacrifice the proper upbringing of a child? Fucking Liberals, always putting their whims ahead of the well-adjustment of children. But hey, better to bring kids up in a dynamically bizarre setting than to kill them off before birth, I guess. Here's to progress.
That reminds me:
Does anyone else remember this show? WTF!? There was a reason why they made it a comedy!
So my hypotheses was that 'having two same sex parents would really fuck a person up', and I was right.
HAVING A DIVORCE? DON'T FORGET TO EMOTIONALLY SCAR YOUR KIDS IN THE PROCESS.
Why bother saying 'til death do us part'. If you are willing to lie from the beginning to your spouse, you are a scumbag. What's with all the self-centeredness all over the place? Methinks it's a liberal-perpetuated situation.
What's so tough about it? Just tell them that you lack integrity and that their wellbeing is last on your priority list. Besides, go on dates and bring new guys home all time. It will take your mind off the guilt, if you even have any.
"But Jesse, you have never been married, so you don't know how hard it is. Being married is extremely difficult."
Well then I guess that makes my parents Fucking Rock Gods then. Adam may correct me, but they've been married probably 33 years or so. Trust me, if they can do it, anyone can... unless you are a lazy liberal.
Most of my friends have their biological parents still married. They are all basically well adjusted folks. But the friends I have that have lived through their parents divorcing are profoundly fucked up, because the joke turned out to be on them.
So to people that are raising children in a household of same-sex parents:
Here's to you. You're doing an outstanding job keeping your kids from being well-rounded.
To the people who have subjected your kids to a divorce:
Nice job, you've traumatized them.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
posted by Jesse @ 8:39 AM
6 comments
Liberals are Fucking NUTS
6 Comments:
Dear Chuck,
Since when are all of our laws based on the bible? I would say since the birth of America. Pilgrims came over to gain religious freedom and the declaration of independence has some words like "In God We Trust" and then there's that pesky pledge of allegiance "one nation under god" I mean if you feel smart and want to further discuss the Druconian theory because you think everything is based on morals and then christianity and religion just spins off of that, that's fine with me. Let me know, we'll talk.
Here's the thing with Christians, Chuck. They firmly believe in the divinity of Christ. The world back in the day (BC) was a hectic time. God was ruling with an iron fist because people were just off their rocker. When Jesus came though (you might have heard of him... son of God and all that jazz) he basically rewrote everything. Since Leviticus is in the old testament that's the way things were before Jesus. It is important that we have the old testament because we have to see how things were before Jesus. However, new laws came about in the new testament and things have been changing ever since. That's why Christians eat pork, but Jewish people don't. I'm not claiming to be an expert on Judaism but I'm currently under the impression that since they don't believe in the divinity of Christ they more or less follow the old Testament laws. But if you want to read the Bible that's great. May I recommend the Gospels? Also, I'm a big fan of James and of course I adore the letters from Paul.
on point 3. and yeah.. it's untested. I guess that's why they said it was "unarguable."
on point 4. No, it's not really a big leap. Marriage was supposed to be a sanctuary between a man and a woman declaring their love for each other in a house of god before their friends and family. To change that to two men makes a mockery of what God had intentions for. Of course the liberal debate is that man and wife already make it a mockery by not sticking together. Well then don't fucking get divorced. Divorce really should be punishable by death unless there are regular beatings and infidelities. So by changing it from a man and woman to two woman and a man is in the same class. Why not start pushing for it because then society will deem it acceptable and allow it. It's really about the peer pressure.
I'm not saying I hate gays so if that was the thought forming in your mind get rid of it.
And schools will be forced to teach that homosexuality is normal. Because schools do everything to become neutral territory. Kids get made fun of a whole lot and to help nip that in the bud you get force fed tolerance. And granted in most cases that's pretty cool, but if my future daughter ends up going dyke because her school told her it was okay... I'm going to be pissed.
And this isn't a religious website. I myself am Christian but that really doesn't mean anything. I would really love to read whatever book Chuck reads that says that people every where have the awesome power to automatically know right from wrong and what water he drinks that gives him the capability know all this awesome shit. Is there some magical elixir out there that automatically makes you right that Chuck has stockpiled? It's hard to fight magic.
I really enjoyed that rant. This Badger seems to have a conscience, and applies it to things he does in life. That's kind of refreshing.
I forgot to mention in my post that Prenuptual Agreements should be illegal, because it sets a couple up for failure.
I also don't know where all this 'God' stuff is coming from. I used one link to a christian site. Never in my post (OR ANY POST ON THIS ENTIRE SITE) do I make reference to religion or God. I purposely avoid that. So Veiled Nashira: when you say "Why does every subject you and Adam write about bring up God and religon?", you would do well to slap yourself in the face with a brick, to remind yourself that you don't know what you're talking about.
I think I love strykeforce badgers...
exactly what needed to be said =)
CHUCK!
Here's the thing. I respect what you're saying. However, I suspect that you have a distrust/dislike for white christians just for the sake of going against the grain of tradition and/or large numbers. That's okay, I guess that makes you feel like you're making a statement or a difference as opposed to being part of the machine.
Here's the thing that nobody is considering about me, and my perspective when I wrote the post:
I WRITE ARTICLES WITH A SLANT TOWARDS HAVING A CONSCIENCE. I'M NOT RELIGIOUS. I HAVE THIS PERSPECTIVE BECAUSE I AM NOT A LIBERAL.
I will repeat myself ONCE.
I AM NOT RELIGIOUS.
My views are conscience-based due to the fact that I AM NOT A LIBERAL.
Chuck, I suggest the Tibetan Book of the Dead. That's my preference at this point.
I refuse to indulge any further conversation involving the matters of religions of any kind in reference to my views on issues, since religion is completely irrelevent to political situations, and I wish to keep it that way.
P.S. CHUCK.
My intelligence is insulted. I would wager my brother's truck that I am as well or more versed in the cultures and religions of the World. I don't know what you take me for, but if you think you know a lot about a lot, you've met someone on your level.
Maybe a game of chess?
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